Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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