At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
