she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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