dude i'm inner monologue high
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
