i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
