She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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