yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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