Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
