I just cut my nipple shaving
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
