Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
