If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize