do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize