Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
