your thong is hanging out like whoa
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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