those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
