He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize