Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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