He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
