im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize