this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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