So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
