like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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