Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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