Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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