even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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