He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
