i jhust puked up my retainher.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
