youre lurking in front of me
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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