new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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