Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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