She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize