2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
