what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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