I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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