Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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