I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
