If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
