I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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