TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
