I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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