Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
