Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
