we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My brain says no but my pants say off.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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