margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
