Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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