He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just invented taco cereal.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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