I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
