In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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