i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
