Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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