its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
