Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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