I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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