As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
