we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
