It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
