brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Randomize
