my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
