I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think a kid would responsible me up
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
