And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
