kristin has been a bad kristin
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize