community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Terrible idea I love it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
