if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize