you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
