I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize