Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
