Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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