Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
