i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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