I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
