I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
