Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
