i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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