And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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