yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
