Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize