take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Help. Why am I so naked?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
