Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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