i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize